Thursday, July 5, 2007


I'm not sure why I am so mad. Something has crawled deep under my skin and is chewing away- gnawing - at me. I think it was once the very thing that was electrifying to me. It was the thing that shot excitement and hope and life into me. It was lightening in my veins.

But because we are selfish people, we skew things around; twisting and manipulating them because we could never be satisfied with what's been given to us. We make them what they should never be. The lightening ceases to be wonderful, beautiful, and electric.

It only burns.

We should have the same purpose. We profess the same thing, claim the same means of grace, and sacrifice towards the same goal. So why do we work against each other? Do not commit to something if you can't do it. Let your yes be yes, and your no, no. If you say you are my friend, and have committed to me, then DO IT. If you can't do it, that's really alright. But don't say that you can. I've said this before; if I have to start slicing fingers and swapping blood, then I will. What kind of picture does it paint when we can not follow through? We are to be an example of moral excellence, yet in our dealings with each other we don't practice the same standards of respect and honesty. I've seen this so much lately and it has me outraged.

I feel totally uncomfortable in my own skin. Frustrated. Angry. Like my insides are on fire and I just have to deal with it. Like what once was sunny and delightful, is now dark, damp, and ominous.

Oh honey, don't walk away.
I'm such a sore loser, I ain't too proud to say.
But I'm still thinking 'bout you, and I'm so lonesome without you, and I can't get you out of my mind.
Oh honey, don't leave me alone.
With my soul shut down so tight,
just like a stone cold tomb.
Ain't it clear when I'm near you I'm just dying to hear you calling my name one more time?
Oh so don't pay no mind to my watering eyes.
Must be something in the air that I'm breathing.
Yes, and try to ignore all this blood on the floor,
it's just this heart on my sleeve that's bleeding.
Oh honey, don't walk away.
You leave me here bereaving from your words so hard and plain.
Saying the love that we had was just selfish and sad
Oh but to see you now with her is just making me mad.
Oh so kiss her again just to prove to me that you can.
I will stand here and burn in my skin.
I will stand here and burn in my skin.


Tori said...


I'm so sorry you're struggling with that. Anger is something that's really difficult remove yourself from. I will be praying for your tender heart, sweet friend. Love you.

Katherine Hart said...

That. Was convicting.

I can't even imagine what might have sparked this intense (and yet still beautifully eloquent) post. I pray that it just works and irons itself out. Completely.