Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I need to be reminded of who I was when I took that first step

Yes, I know that we are half way through Lent. Humor me.

There is a man whom I have come to greatly respect and adore. I have watched him over the last month sacrifice something that he not only enjoys, but my guess is
that at this point in his life, his body & mind crave it. You do something for so long, it becomes "what you do". I have watched him time after time gracefully ignore it in others, and seemingly dismiss it all together. One day it was, the next day it wasn't. And in accountability fulfillment, when asked how consistent he's been in
this particular sacrifice, I have watched him over and over again reply humbly, "By the grace of God." God called him to give something up and without question or fight, I watched him turn it over without a second look back.

This got me thinking.

I gave up cokes (ahem, "sodas") for Lent. It seems so small in comparison to my friend's sacrifice, but it's big for me, and I am excited to say that I somehow have managed to not have even a sip of a coke since February 25. But watching this man so bravely and boldly make such a stand for choosing Christ, something in me was stirred and the Lord began to shake me of the things I choose over Him. Lots of things have been discussed between me and Christ in the last week, and there is a lot that I've been convicted of. Funny thing though, the Lord, He opened my eyes to see the thing that was all around me. Everywhere I looked, at work, at home, in my car - in front of my eyes, in my ears, in my words - on occasion there is someone else who has occupied my affections far greater than Christ.
Those who know me well (and regrettably, even those who know very little about me) know that this is my....obsession (I even hate calling it that). Stirred by the faith, determination and dedication I've seen in my friend, I have felt really disgusted by this obsession. If I talked about Jesus, listened to or read Scripture, or let Christ occupy my thoughts and "down time" as much as I talk about John Mayer, or listen to him, or let his words & his life fill my thoughts and down time... well, we would all be better off.
I looked around my apartment and there was just as much John Mayer paraphernalia as there was "Christian" stuff. BLECH. I don't have a problem being characterized as a
John Mayer fan, but I want to first and foremost be characterized as a Christian. And just by looking around my life, I'm not sure that one could tell the difference.
So I am fasting John.

I have...
- removed every black & white photo from the last two summer tours from my computers and memo boards.
- removed every album; independent, major, single, and import.
- removed fan-fare (t-shirt, pictures, ticket stubs, etc...)
- committed to avoiding conversation around his life
- committed to avoiding people.com, perezhilton.com, or battlestudies.com
- removed every track from every playlist

This sounds so silly; I know. I am rolling my eyes at myself for even typing the above bullets out. But it is what it is. And the LAST thing I should be doing is trying to make my sin prettier. (Note of clarity: I'm not at all implying or saying that listening to, or liking John Mayer, or any musician/artist is sinful. But for me, at this point, I believe that my obsession with John Mayer has at times surpassed my obsession with Christ, and that is what I consider sinful.)
Several of you have asked about the fast - so there you have it. Thank you to those of you who are holding it all captive for me. :)

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I just adore you!