It was not that long ago that I was proclaiming the greatness of my job. I have never doubted (nor do I doubt even now) that the Lord gave me this job as an answer to prayer and in an act of provision.
But I have never hated anything more. Every reason for purpose here has been exhausted. You've heard me talk about the darkness here and in these last few weeks I have been able to tell more and more of it's affect on my thoughts. I hate the person I am when I come to work. I immediately morph into such a negative, judgmental, whiny, complaining person. Now hear me out: I realize that my poor behavior can not and should not be blamed on any one else, or on any outside circumstance. It just seems like no matter how determined I am when I walk in the door, or how many times I "SYMOTA" to myself, within minutes, and I mean minutes, I become such a yucky person.
By the wonderful grace of God, He has provided for me, yet again and I start a new job in a few weeks. I will be an operations assistant to the Finance Manager for a corporation based in Arlington. The hours are spectacular, the pay is just what I need, and the people (thus far) seem terrific. I am so elated about it, I think I will burst.
What makes me laugh a little at the whole thing (if you know me well, you'll understand what I mean.) is that what I am most excited about is getting away from the drama and the politics of this place. There is SO much underhanding and gossiping here...I just can't stand it. I can't wait to work in an environment where people really do work together and not just say that they do.
Yay for God and Yay for new jobs.