Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Old love, go on home

"Some people are settling down, some people are settling, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies." -Carrie Bradshaw

zsa zsa zsu: That sort of lovey, butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling when you just want to be with someone. It happens not only when you love someone, but you just gotta have 'em. a.k.a: Chemistry.

It seems like alot of people who are very important to me are settling down, or they have settled down in the recent past. Let me just tell you, there is great joy in seeing precious friends and family find their only love. It is a spectacular thing to see the zsa zsa zsu discovered and enjoyed by ones who most certainly deserve it. (and even those who don't...and receive it by the sheer grace of God.)

Over the past few years, I've also seen alot of people settle (I consider myself the poster child for such.). So desperate to have that relationship... disfunctional as it may be, they (we) compromise our....well, everything. Standards, beliefs, our wants even....they get explained away in attempts to make sense of a relationship that shouldn't be in the first place. An obvious truth to everyone around, but makes all the sense in the world to the people in it. (of course it does.)

Me? I refuse to settle for anything less than the absolute best. To be candid: I love this season of life because there really are alot of prospects (or maybe its that I'm looking?? :) ). As I continue on in this season and as I learn more and more about myself I have come to realize something monumentous: I actually do know what I want. I know what I want and I know that I want it. So I have made the choice to cuddle up and get intimate with the zsa zsa zsu. I refuse to settle for anything less.

For a year now, I've ping ponged back and forth with old love. I can see your face, but I know that its not real. Old love, yes. Pseudo love....absolutely. Little did I know that it would be so easy to dissolve!! I have dreaded the words, "I'm interested in someone else" for well, A YEAR. But as soon as I had said them and old love fumbled and foibled around for excuses before bailing out (common practice for old love), I hung up and thought, "that's it?!?!" It was so easy. And hopefully gone.

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