Tuesday, October 23, 2012

and seasons change

Big surprise. This post is about music.


The other night the boyfriend and I went to see Matt Wertz and Steve Moakler at The Kessler. First of all, I'm very sorry that I never paid Steve Moakler any attention before. Secondly, The Kessler is an AMAZING venue. We were sitting at the back of the place, and it still felt like we were just hanging out in the living room. It had a great vibe, great sound, and great seats [that's right. seats].

I've seen Matt several times before. Every time, he's played with a full band and it's been a fun, woo-girl-inspiring show. This show was different. Not just because I had my person with me [it makes a difference. just does], but because it was an acoustic show in a very intimate venue.


It was really good.

A few days before the show, Matt had posted on Facebook a request for songs to be played at his Texas shows. I scrolled through the comments and saw that any song that I wanted to hear was already listed. Also, I know that there is a new album in the works, so I felt good about getting to hear some new songs. I felt confident that I wouldn't be disappointed in the set list.

And I wasn't.

One of my very favorites, I've only heard him perform one other time. Honestly, it's one of my favorites, but it's also one that I tend to forget about. I saw it in the comments on the facebook post from earlier in the week and thought "oooo... yeah. That one." So, when he started to play it, I got happy and excited. I sat back with a smile on my face and just listened.

And then it happened.

Tears. Lots and lots and lots of tears. [what.on.earth.]

Overcome isn't even adequate. I was consumed by the beauty of the music, the time and the place, and by the Truth of the words. I had no idea how in need I was of that Truth being sung over me. [that's what it felt like in there - like the words were being sung over me.]

I don't think I realized how often I feel inadequate. I didn't realize how badly I needed the reminder that no matter what I do, what I say, where I go; no matter how much I don't hold up my end of the covenant and cease to praise the one who paid my debt - nothing changes.

No amount of my misbehaving, no amount of my best behavior changes how much I am loved and how well I am taken care of. I will give you what you need, in plenty or in poverty. Even when I have nothing, when supply is insufficient - I will still have what I need.

I needed my confidence to be renewed, and those words and notes and harmonies have been whirling around me ever since that night. My God beautifully clothes every single blade of grass and flower in the field, and He considers me to be far more valuable than they. Of course He will give me what I need.

And it will be beautiful.
It always is.


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Jealous Brother said...

Wait, you got a BF?