Wednesday, August 11, 2010

don't be offended if I say ma'am

About 7 weeks ago I moved into my first house. As long as I haven't lived at home, I've lived in an apartment. I intentionally wanted to move into a house and out of an apartment, in preparation of owning my own home in the future. I moved into a great neighborhood - a great, old neighborhood. Old houses have an inexplicable charm to them that is really endearing and precious, but I have painfully been learning that the charm of old houses dulls in comparison to the quirks of old houses. I've had my fair share of "experiences" in this house already, and it's got me thinking.

I could sure use a man.

Now, I'm not the type of woman who needs a man. I'm strong willed, opinionated, can be stubborn, and like being self sufficient and doing things my own way. But I'm also not dumb. There are just things that boys do better. There are things that boys know inherently and that girls have to be taught, much like how girls don't need to be taught the difference between a stiletto and a wedge or when lipstick has gone bad. We just know.
So, I've compiled a short list of things that I have come to believe only boys know - and reasons why I look forward to having one of these built in someday.

1. When to have an oil change/tire rotation. I literally have to set a reminder for myself to have my oil changed. I believe that boys can sense when the car needs some love. I look forward to the day when there is someone around to take care of it for me; not because I am incapable, but because I know I don't do it right, and there is NOTHING worse for a girl that car trouble.

2. In the same manner, when car repairs/maintenance are not legit. It would take me a day or two to realilze something was off, much less be able to recongnize bamboozlement right away.

3. How to make the sound of a car/airplane. Girls lips are great for lots of things - but not for this. As a child, I loved playing with matchbox cars, but was inevitably envious of my male friends who could make their cars buzz and hum - I just can't do it. (This is not a skill necessary for my every day life however, I am an animated person, and sometimes one of my stories just isn't complete without the appropriate sound effects).

4. Strength. No matter how much I work out my upper arms, I will never be able to hoist a queen mattress over my shoulder and carry it down three flights of stairs.

Southern Man, Coffey Anderson