Let It Be Me

I've been thinking about friendship.
You know by now that I take it pretty seriously - I mean it if I call you a friend, and if we get there, then there's no going back. I have been blessed with a lot of people in my life, and more friends than I could ever deserve. After reading one of the aforementioned undeserved friends' blog last week, in which she delightfully explained the beautiful mess that is her best friendship, I started thinking.
Then I was reminded this weekend why I take friendship so seriously. I have the perfect friend. Unwavering, unconditional (seriously, can you say you are a friend who has no conditions?), trustworthy, honest, timeless. I cherish this friendship, but I do a terrible job at imitating it.
It's the absolute worst thing - the thing that is the best thing. It is the worst thing because it knows you the best, and can cut you the deepest. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I've got lifelong friendships - deeper than I could even being to explain. Kindred friends who know what I'm thinking before I have to say it - and they are the ones who make me say it just so I can see how ridiculous I'm being. Sister friends who couldn't get rid of me even if they wanted to - and they are the ones who have subtly reminded me why I'm worth keeping around. New friends who are continually and surprisingly knocking my socks off at every turn - and the one who keeps me stretched and uncomfortable in my old, stinky ways. Old friends who know the absolute worst about me and love me still - they are the ones who call me out on my worst because they love me enough to not let me get away with it. Treasured friends who, even in extremely vulnerable moments of fear, share their deepest darks with me and trust me enough to do so - they are the ones who keep me faithful and honest in my own darkness.
And there are also false ones. Not ill meaning, or malicious, just not really true. Maybe they have the best of intentions, maybe they have zero intentions at all. I have learned to recognize these relationships. They are traced - they look just like the real thing, but they are only a copy. Made by keeping score and, in a rush to jump straight to the middle, leave a trail of mere appearances in their wake. They are just as familiar to me.
I've been reminded of what it looks like; what it feels like to dwell with someone - to be completely at home with them, and I really want those who call me a friend to be unmistakeably comfortable & welcomed with me. I want to be able to be imitated and depended on and hoped for. I want to be for all my kindred, sister, new, old, & treasured friends exactly what they are for me.
Clearly, this is a task far beyond my capability. But I'm kinda thinkin that the ambition is a good place to start.

There may come a time, a time in everyone's life
where nothin seems to go your way
where nothing seems to turn out right
there may come a time, you just cant seem to find your way
for every door you walk on to, seems like they get slammed in your face
that's when you need someone, someone that you can call.
and when all your faith is gone
feels like you cant go on
let it be me
let it be me
if its a friend that you need
let it be me
let it be me
feels like your always commin on home
pockets full of nothin and you got no cash
no matter where you turn you ain't got no place to stand
reach out for something and they slap your hand
now i remember all to well
just how it feels to be all alone
you feel like you'd give anything
for just a little place you can call your own
that's when you need someone, someone that you can call
and when all your faith is gone
feels like you cant go on
let it be me
let it be me
if its a friend you need
let it be me
let it be me