Hoping you'll make up your mind

So this crazy thing keeps happening to me.

Several weeks ago, I was at a wedding and had the hellacious experience of being baited, and thrown out to gather up as many "fish in the sea" that I could for one of the most obnoxiously arrogant people I've ever encountered. It's not that I was hoping to be caught by this particular "tool bag", but if I'm being in honest: it was one of the most humorously degrading things that has ever happened to me. There's just something so sad in a girls heart when she's so indirectly informed of her ineptitude. Maybe it's not ineptitude; as I mentioned before, it's not that I was hoping to catch the eye of this guy. I'm quite thrilled that I didn't, actually. But the whole thing burns a little. The small group of us had the perfect opportunity to get to know one another, and appreciate the things that each of us has to offer. That was impossible with this guy. He determined early on that I was not worth getting to know; only worth my resources.

Well, big deal, right? What am I complaining about? A jerk had no interest in getting to know me, who cares? Normally, I would agree with that (especially considering the laughable circumstances that followed this guy the next couple of weeks), but it happened again.

And this time it didn't come from a careless whipper snapper. It came from someone I trust & respect; probably the LAST thing I would say about this person is that he is arrogant. So it didn't just annoy and insult me - it actually kinda hurt me. Should it have? I don't know. (It didn't help, though, that he said "It shouldn't have hurt your feelings." I hate that!) It hurt to realize that I was in just one more situation where seemingly, I'm used for who I know and not who I am. That is a terrible place to be.

I'm pretty sure this is just one more example of the unfair expectations I tend to put on my investments. Hopefully, I'll grow out of that. But I can't help wondering if my life will be a life as the man on the side. People need them, right? I might could be happy being the man on the side.

No... I couldn't.

six numbers, one more to dial
before I'm before you
I tried to call
been busy all night
gave up waiting at daylight
excuse me Mrs. Busybody
could you pencil me in when you can
though we both know that the worst part about it
is I would be free when you wanted me
if you wanted me
I am the man on the side
hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
life as the man on the side
one of the many
one of the few
to stand back and wait for you
excuse me Mrs. Busybody
could you pencil me in when you can
though we both know that the worst part about it
is I would be free when you wanted me
if you wanted me, if you wanted me
I am the man on the side
hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
Life as the man on the side
Life as the man on the side
I fell in love with the dream that I built of you
playing the part of the queen
taking my own advice
I'm giving up tonight
good luck to you and the king
excuse me Mrs. Busybody
could you pencil me in when you can
though we both know that the worst part about it
is I would be free when you wanted me
if you wanted me, if you wanted me
I am the man on the side
hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
life as the man
you know life as the man
living life as the man on the side